Monday, June 13, 2005

Sunday Sentiments

I have spent most of my weekend alone. It was a choice that I made to spend time with myself and this has perhaps been one of the most productive weekends that I’ve experienced this year. It wasn’t productive in the sense that I produced some sort of tangible deliverables or that I planned another magic trick. It was productive because I spent this time alone being introspective, replenishing my energy, moving myself closer to my center, and reenergizing myself. It was time much needed and well spent.

Over the past couple of days I’ve had the opportunity to think about a number of things including the day in September that always seems to come faster each year. God willing, I will see my birthday in just a little more than 90 days. Time seems to have passed by so quickly since toasting my last birthday. And as the next one approaches I wonder what I wonder at the end of every day…am I better man?

Real people. Real family. Real life. I’ve had a lot to think about this weekend. Friday night for the first time I had a very open and honest conversation with my mother about aging. Every Sunday she goes to my grandfather’s house to prepare his pill boxes for the week and take him dinner. Once or twice a week she takes him to the store and to run errands. As she begins to think about getting older and what needs she will have as an older person I too have begun thinking of what my responsibilities will be to her. Although I am one of three children I understand that in my later years it may fall upon me to move back to Cleveland to take care of the woman who has taken care of me. I move forward planning for my future and hers.

My phone rang. It was my best friend’s sister. She called to tell me her college graduation was wonderful. My best friend got on the phone after her and told me a secret. She told me that he sister spoke at the graduation and named several people that were positive influences in her life that helped her reach her moment of turning her tassel and that I was one of them. I had no words for a response. I was deeply moved and appreciative that someone appreciated me. I didn’t know to what if any degree she listened to me or watched me and took notice of the right things I was doing or even the wrong things I was doing that she’d make note to do right.

This morning I finally read the book Who Moved My Cheese? I’ve had it on my list of books to read list for about four years now. The book talks about change and how people choose or not to adapt to it. At one point it poses the question I find myself not willing to answer at times, what would you be doing if you weren’t afraid?The story of little men and mice searching for cheese sound so simple on the surface but it is easily applicable to some of lives more complicated issues we are forced to deal with every day.

I don’t think that most people know their true power or how they can allow themselves to empower others. I believe that we have the power to create visions for ourselves and see those visions become real. I believe that man has the power to speak things into existence. I believe in the words from the holy book that as a man thinketh...