Thursday, July 06, 2006

Self-Centered Me

Weeks ago when I decided to take a vacation and time to breath I began coming up with a list of places all around the world where I wanted to travel. I was seeking in these fantastic distant destinations a place where I could relax my mind, body and spirit. I thought to myself, that if I could just get away from this physical space that I would be okay. But as time went on I began to think of the expense. I began to think of the logistics of traveling here and there. I also began to think of the lyrics to a song which tell the listener in no uncertain terms that a man can journey a thousand miles and still be in the same place.

If I could not rest and rejuvenate myself here then what exactly made me think that I could do it half way around the world. I would only return home. Of the tons of things that I must continue to learn to do, one is to be able to remove myself and go into a quiet space wherever I am. It will attribute to me moving toward and finding peace in my center.

The beauty of life and my truest life mission is that I am able to define things for myself. Blue Sky asked me the other day what did I mean by my center when I told him I needed to move closer toward it again. I told him that my center is that place inside me where when everything is well all my parts are in line with each other, where I have clarity and feel empowered in my walk. It is my heart and soul. It is the hub from which everything else operates and takes direction. It is a place of peace. It is a place of understanding, even the things that can never fully be understood by man, and one understands that. One day at a time.

While I have taken a few day trips so far this week and will meet nature in a new way this weekend on a rafting trip, I have been spending most of my time with myself. In a healthy way I have removed myself from much of the comings and goings, outside voices and forces, around me, stealing quiet moments for me.

I think. I say thank you. I pray. I sit. I sleep.

I am just being a little self-centered. I am not the center of the universe but in this time I reminded that there is a part of the universe in the center of me.