In the middle of the night...

I thought that I was going to bed. I thought that if I closed my eyes I would just go to sleep. I thought that it would be a rest like any other rest. All my thoughts were wrong and I am hurting. I did not expect to hurt. I did not expect to feel any pain but in the middle of the night when I thought I would be sleeping it hit me. It hit my heart and I am in pain and tears are swelling up inside of me but just like any other day I am fighting them off. I have given him so much. I will not also give him my tears. Even if he deserves them to them I must hold on. I am hurting and I did not want to hurt. There is this feeling moving through my body. There are these questions moving through my mind. Of all the things I have to offer, time and time again they want all of those things with the exception of one. They want it all, they will take all that I have. But when I offer that very special piece they all decline. What a foolish man am I. What a crazy and sometimes I feel unfair world is this. It leaves me in pain in the middle of the night. Alone.