Monday, April 04, 2005


Today I found myself at work with a little extra time on my hands. What better to do on a Monday afternoon than flip through some personal ads? I couldn’t think of anything, so that is what I decided to do. I like browsing personal ads though only once have I been browsing and felt compelled to send a message to the guy with an ad posted. Nevertheless, I can continue to flip through them, partly because I’m interested in seeing anyone I might be interested in, partly because I want to see if there is anyone I know with a current ad and partly because I just enjoy the way the ads are written.

My favorite ads are the ones where guys say that they are DL. How down low can one be with your picture on the world wide web? It makes me chuckle to think how the phraseology of DL has been distorted over time. People equate masculinity to DL and they aren’t quite the same thing. Hell, I’m not even sure anymore what it means sometimes.

It always boggles my mind how people spell words incorrectly in their personal ads too. I know not everyone was an English major, grammar is not something everyone masters. I certainly have not. What I do have though is spell check in Microsoft Word along with a copy and paste feature. Why not type your ad in Word, free from spelling errors and then paste into the personal ad? Whenever I see ads that talk about how they want someone smart, intelligent, educated and so on, and it has words spelled wrong it makes me wonder why this person seeks that. Is it because they need someone in their life who can spell for them?

My absolute favorite ads are those that spew the infamous web line, “no fats, no fems, no fakes.” That certainly rules out about 90% of the dating pool. Or is that my cynicism? Also, I think that it is just a rude and bad way of presenting oneself to talk about what it is that you don’t want with such strong words. Would it be so hard for people to speak in the positive? “I desire someone who is. . .” “I prefer men who. . .” I always say, like what you like, I certainly have my own preferences. But in liking what you like, I think its just much better to present in a way that is less damning of others.

“No fakes.” | “I want someone who keeps it real.” –What healthy human being would seek a relationship with someone who wasn’t real and honest? It sounds silly to me. I long for the day when just for giggles someone posts an ad that says, “looking for someone who keeps it fake and lies.”

In my ongoing search for romance, a close encounter of the first kind, I have pondered posting an ad myself. I have always opted not to because I was too afraid people I know would do the same thing I do – gasp! I should really asses why I am gasping. Those people have the guts to seek romance on the frontline in a way in which I’m not yet comfortable doing. More power to them.

Personally, I am not quite ready for the personals. Not just yet.