Reality of Being a Starr
I believe there is a song for every event, situation and emotion. Music is so beautiful and sometimes when I can’t express how I am feeling in my own words or find myself tired of saying it I can just play a song that says what I’m feeling for me. As of late, and probably until the end of May there is a song that I listen to a lot – Reality by the singing trio known as 702.
They sing about the reality of what it is like to be a star. Of course those who aren’t famous see the glitz and glamour of a Hollywood life. But beneath the glitz and glamour lies hard work and struggle. Even the biggest cultural icon is still human and has feelings, emotions, problems and insecurities just like anyone else. In the end we are all human. But stars are not to be forgiven. Their lives are to be scrutinized, judged and subject to public ridicule.
In Washington, DC I am a familiar face in many circles because of my involvement in community projects and my leadership role on a board that I sit on. Part of being involved with the “community” and sitting on a board for an organization is being visible. This sometimes just means going to meetings. Other times it means going to social events, fundraisers, readings, forums, lectures and wherever you need to be to put your organization above the radar. After a while people see you at these events and think you are having the time of your life. That couldn’t be further from the truth in many instances. There are times when I’d much rather be at home in my bed or on my couch than at some party schmoozing with someone – not because I adore them so much as I need them to do me a favor on behalf of an organization I work with. It is hard to explain to others that what I do is because I’m cultivating a relationship for a group. It’s not about me. It is about a tough process of creating, building and nurturing relationships with people I both love and hate – all without them knowing rather I love them or hate them or not.
To flip through a local gay newspaper or website a few times a year and see my name or face wouldn’t come as that much of a shocker. I am far from the most notable Black gay man in DC but there is a number of people who know either my name or my face and they usually link it to a group I work with. So, naturally if someone sees me on the street, Metro, in the grocery store, at a party, anywhere – and they have a suggestion, question, complaint they feel free to bring it to me. A few weeks ago at 7:30am I was on my way to my barber before work when someone wanted to engage me in a conversation about all that is wrong with the organization that I sit on the board for. I felt like MJ and JJ and wanted to SCREAM. Eventually I figured out the best way to make him shut up, I asked what committee he would like to sit on and how he would like to make things better. He stopped talking.
And of course everyone thinks that they can do it or do what you do better.
When I look around me and the country for that matter, I see very few people my age doing the same type of community building projects that I do. I don’t know if that’s because I started out so young or because no one else my age is interested or cares. In typically working with people older than myself I have been able to see two great things. One is what type of older person I don’t want to be and the other is the type of mature man I want to grow to be. This community has all kinds and I’ve encountered damn near every single type. So that is a good learning experience for me as I continue to grow and try to shape myself into the man I want to be years from now. Fear of being an old bitter queen keep me on the straight and narrow.
I’ve also realized I can’t do ‘community’ work for very much longer. I’ve seen how it consumes lives, politics and politicing can leave you scarred and bruised, not to mention I think that it can be one of the most thankless jobs that often makes me wonder why am I doing it. I don’t know if any community has been built off of any efforts I’ve made. But then again there have been two times in my years of doing this stuff that I have been reminded of the very moment I realized I was in a world where I wasn’t all alone. I pray that I have more of those moments.
you dont know
what we go through
so i'm singin this song for you
They sing about the reality of what it is like to be a star. Of course those who aren’t famous see the glitz and glamour of a Hollywood life. But beneath the glitz and glamour lies hard work and struggle. Even the biggest cultural icon is still human and has feelings, emotions, problems and insecurities just like anyone else. In the end we are all human. But stars are not to be forgiven. Their lives are to be scrutinized, judged and subject to public ridicule.
aint got no time to play around
it aint about just hanging out
i got so much more to do
it aint worth being with you
In Washington, DC I am a familiar face in many circles because of my involvement in community projects and my leadership role on a board that I sit on. Part of being involved with the “community” and sitting on a board for an organization is being visible. This sometimes just means going to meetings. Other times it means going to social events, fundraisers, readings, forums, lectures and wherever you need to be to put your organization above the radar. After a while people see you at these events and think you are having the time of your life. That couldn’t be further from the truth in many instances. There are times when I’d much rather be at home in my bed or on my couch than at some party schmoozing with someone – not because I adore them so much as I need them to do me a favor on behalf of an organization I work with. It is hard to explain to others that what I do is because I’m cultivating a relationship for a group. It’s not about me. It is about a tough process of creating, building and nurturing relationships with people I both love and hate – all without them knowing rather I love them or hate them or not.
some people think they wanna live this life
they see the fame but they don’t know the price
it aint that easy
i need you to feel me
reality’s of a star
To flip through a local gay newspaper or website a few times a year and see my name or face wouldn’t come as that much of a shocker. I am far from the most notable Black gay man in DC but there is a number of people who know either my name or my face and they usually link it to a group I work with. So, naturally if someone sees me on the street, Metro, in the grocery store, at a party, anywhere – and they have a suggestion, question, complaint they feel free to bring it to me. A few weeks ago at 7:30am I was on my way to my barber before work when someone wanted to engage me in a conversation about all that is wrong with the organization that I sit on the board for. I felt like MJ and JJ and wanted to SCREAM. Eventually I figured out the best way to make him shut up, I asked what committee he would like to sit on and how he would like to make things better. He stopped talking.
And of course everyone thinks that they can do it or do what you do better.
i’m staying focused on myself, hey
aint gotta please nobody else, uhh
got to do whats best for me
thats the way it has to be, baby
When I look around me and the country for that matter, I see very few people my age doing the same type of community building projects that I do. I don’t know if that’s because I started out so young or because no one else my age is interested or cares. In typically working with people older than myself I have been able to see two great things. One is what type of older person I don’t want to be and the other is the type of mature man I want to grow to be. This community has all kinds and I’ve encountered damn near every single type. So that is a good learning experience for me as I continue to grow and try to shape myself into the man I want to be years from now. Fear of being an old bitter queen keep me on the straight and narrow.
I’ve also realized I can’t do ‘community’ work for very much longer. I’ve seen how it consumes lives, politics and politicing can leave you scarred and bruised, not to mention I think that it can be one of the most thankless jobs that often makes me wonder why am I doing it. I don’t know if any community has been built off of any efforts I’ve made. But then again there have been two times in my years of doing this stuff that I have been reminded of the very moment I realized I was in a world where I wasn’t all alone. I pray that I have more of those moments.
some people think they wanna live this life
they see the fame but they don’t know the price
it aint that easy
i need you to feel me
reality’s of a star
posted by ClayStarr at 4:25 PM
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