Friday, October 21, 2005

When I Need It

To any naysayer I have always argued that my life is a living testimony that in fact there is a God. There is a God whose power and presence is amazing. He is all knowing and proves time and time again, that he will give his children what they need exactly when they need it.

After a long and full weekend I traveled to work Monday morning and went through my day navigating my way through project pieces as if I still had all the energy in the world. Monday evening I had to attend a film screening and before the lights in the theater went down I had to be absolutely up. There was a great crowd and I think I smiled, waived or spoke to half of all in attendance. AQueer inquired how is it that I do this so often and to him I just smiled too.

At the end of my work day on Tuesday I went home, did one load of laundry and spent one hour working on a project that had been lingering on my to-do-list far too long. When I completed the task I felt such comfort as my back kissed my mattress and the spirit of rest came over me. For the first time in months neither of my phones rang all night. I slept well and uninterrupted. Every other night this weekend I had to attend and event for work and my phone has returned to its usual often hotline status. I thank God for Tuesday. He gave me what I needed when I needed it.

Two weeks ago I sat down to do my financial projections for the rest of the year and took into account the increase in one of my fixed monthly expenditures, a trip to Cleveland for Christmas and a few other expenses and saw that I didn’t have too much wiggle room in my checkbook. My mind was made up that I would just have to continue doing the best I could with what I had and make the most of it. I was at peace. Yesterday, my boss pulled me to the side to tell me that today I’d be getting a small pay increase. It will be just enough to cover the increased monthly bill I was worried about and perhaps a little more. Once again, God gives me what I need when I need it.

A year ago almost to the day I was going through my morning routine preparing for the day ahead of me. My morning routine includes prayer but on this day the prayer wasn’t routine. I started out praying like I normally do but it became something greater, more intense. A spirit swept through my body, my bedroom and my apartment.

Later that afternoon I was delivered news that some would have found devastating. I was not so moved. I found immediate encouragement from my prayer that morning and it was well with my soul. What should have brought me to my knees this day last year, has brought me to a place where I stand firmly on my feet today. God gave me a prayer that day that has lasted a year and surely will take me through a lifetime. He will give me what I need when I need it. I am a believer.