Thank You

The past few days, people have given me gifts. They have all come as a surprise and I am truly grateful for them. What a lot of people don’t know about me is that not only am I genuinely surprised when people give me gifts – but often times I am embarrassed by them and question how worthy I am of them. I have a tendency to think I should give more of myself.

Last night after being surprised with another early birthday gift I was completely overwhelmed, not only by the fact that someone had given me a gift, but because they were so thoughtful in choosing it. It was actually something I’d been thinking about buying for myself and hadn’t gotten around to it yet. It wasn’t on my priority list but I thought that it would simply be nice. And there, my friend and his boyfriend had bought it for me.

I didn’t know what to say other than thank you and I didn’t know what to do other than hug them. As I walked to the train heading home I was very quiet. When I got to the train station I asked God how on Earth could I say thank you. Thank you to the friends who just gave me gifts this week. Thank you to all the people who over the past year and simply in this lifetime had given me gifts, big or small, tangible or intangible. I just didn’t know how to say thank you – for everything. I didn’t know what I could give them in return.

It was in that same silence as I sat on the concrete bench that God spoke to me. He said so gently, “give back.” And so it is. That is how I say thank you. I continue to give hugs, kisses, encouraging words, helping hands, a shoulder to lean on, a chest to lay your head, an ear to listen, a voice to speak my truth so that others may connect, learn and be set free. That is how I say thank you.