Saturday, September 06, 2008

Going to Be

For the last several days I have contemplated the intriguing evaluation language made famous by the Obama family, challenging us to look at the world as it is and then as it should be. I am three weeks, 21 days away from my next birthday. I am counting down the days until the big countdown begins. In 21 days I will be 29 and 12 months later, Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, I will be 30. In this moment in my life I am turning the Obama lens on myself. I am looking at myself as I am and simultaneously wondering about my future, myself as I should and I want to be.

It has taken me years to cross the hurdle of really knowing and understanding who I am and in the vague sense of adjectives and descriptions I have come to some conclusions about who I should and want to be. Now if I could just figure out how to get there. The life I’ve lived thus far has been just as much about time as it has been about preparation. I’ve been prepared to move to the next levels and phases at just the right time when opportunities have presented themselves for that movement.

Three weeks from the start of the countdown to my next numeric milestone I have questions about me and where and how I'm going there in this universe. Tonight I’ll pray about it before I go to bed. My life as it is and my life as it should be and making it happen.