Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Small Sweet Kisses

She knows the truth.

The thing about intense and deeply connected relationships is that often one party knows what the other party is thinking before he or she can say anything, or express that thought through action. Some circumstances present themselves and one party can react prior to there even being an action.

That is why I believe my wife knows that I am thinking of leaving her. Today wherever I turned, whenever she had the opportunity she sprinkled me with small gentle kisses. At the cleaners, on the bus, at work, during lunch, at the department store, on the train. She kissed my neck, my lips, my cheeks and my forehead. Wherever I went she kissed. Whatever I wanted to be kissed, she kissed.

No matter what people may think, it is in fact the smaller things in life that more often make me smile or tingle on the inside. She knows me well enough to know that and that is why she gave me so many gentle pecks today. She did what she did today to remind me why I first fell in love with her and to entice me to stay.

Her intuition is correct because while I haven’t said anything to her I am thinking about leaving her. More than I ever have. After many moons, several seasons and so many good times, this decision is weighing heavy on my mind. And I think it is going to take more than showers of small kisses to keep us together.