Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Just Like in Movies

Plenty of my friends over the years have told me that they thought my life would make for a good reality television show. One in fact had looked into getting a videographer to walk around taping me for a week. I admit there are times when even I think only a lens could purely portray events that shape me. I’d only thought about it in the context of television though – until a few days ago.

I got a call from one of my dear friends. He wanted to share some exciting news with me. He had just bought his girlfriend an engagement ring and soon, very soon he would be popping the question. She has been anticipating that he is going to ask for a while now. They have been having preliminary conversations about it for several months. No doubt she will say yes, they will marry and ride off happily into the sunset. Just like in movies.

And just like in most movies these days, the romantic comedies at least, there is always that cheering and encouraging friend who helps shuttle either the bride or groom along. Often that friend is either a straight talking black woman or a stylish and witty gay man. Put those two character types together and you have me. Just like in movies. And also just like in movies while the couple rides into the sunset the supporting friend is left holding the bouquet or in the male characters case a cocktail still alone.

I felt like that character from the movies the other day. Happy for my friend who is taking another step in his relationship and building the life he has imagined. I also felt a little disappointed because I know what that means for our friendship. The ties that bind us will certainly grow just a bit looser.

Ironically it was bad relationships that brought he and I close and molded our friendship. We were there for each other while we both traveled in darkness. We held each others hands. He was sorting out the breakup of a seven year relationship and trying to find his way. I was fighting to hold on to a relationship that only wanted to hold me hostage or let me go and fall with tremendous harm to the ground.

When he could not sleep he called me. When I could not cry I would call him. We saw each other wounded and we saw each other begin to heal. Finding our way out of darkness and into the light. We were so close.

Then he met another girl that he fancied. She liked him to. I watched their relationship bud and now I am preparing to watch it blossom with the engagement. I cheered for him and for her all the way. Naturally over time as they became closer he and I grew and I imagine will grow further apart. But that is simply the nature of these things and I am happy for both of them. Truly.

Boy meets girl. Girl falls in love with boy. Boy is happy for boy and prays one day he will be as lucky as the girl is.

Just like in movies.