Monday, January 29, 2007

Time to Get Suited Up

Him never did call. Him never sent an email either. I suppose I’ve had about enough of him – though I never really had any of him at all. But that is not all that I think I’ve had enough of.

Yesterday I went on a date with a guy I met about a week ago. He is extremely genuine and there are numerous other qualities about him that I admire. On paper and in person he is the kind of guy that I could fall in love with no doubt. I think I’ll call him Authentic because that is what he presents. Now, Authentic and I had a good time at brunch yesterday. After brunch he and I strolled to my favorite card and stationary boutique. We parted ways. He went to visit a friend and I headed to Elm Street to watch Little Miss Sunshine with Go Blue. Later in the evening I checked my email and Authentic had sent me a short note thanking me for brunch. I replied that I enjoyed his company and wouldn’t mind doing so again.

Fast forward to today. Some say I was too forward. Some say I asked early, which is right on time. This afternoon I decided to stick my rod in and gauge the oil. I flat out asked Authentic if he thought that he would be open to a relationship in the near future. Of course I wasn’t asking him to be my boyfriend and share the rest of my life with me after one date but I was asking about his openness. Last year in my dealings with The Wiz and The Biz I learned that expectations should be established up front.

As crass or cold as it may sound the truth is that I have friends, many friends and more than a handful of associates. I am not on a search for either of the aforementioned. What I do not have and truly do want is a relationship. Am I desperate? I don’t think so. Am I clear about what I want? Absolutely.

I have slacks. I have shirts. I have ties. I have blazers. I have sweaters. I have jeans. All the separates – I got those. I want whole suite now! I want the full kit and caboodle. Enough of the pieces -- it is time that I have the whole thing.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Introducing Him

Tonight I saw him. At first I didn’t even know it was him but when I realized who it was my heart skipped a beat but my thought pattern did not. This was the time. For if the Universe had granted me this opportunity once more to hold this handful of jewels in my hand I would not allow them to slip through my fingers again.

While the work week had only been four days it felt like the regular five. Friday had come and I was delighted with clear canvass of the weekend. Two days to do what I want when I wanted even if that was nothing at all. I basked in the glory of freedom to come. Late into the afternoon I decided to send a few messages to brother friends of mine to inquire if they would like to join me for a drink at my favorite martini bar. I thought it would be a nice way to cap off the week – with a night cap.

Two agreed, I made three and that made enough for a full fledged plan. Immediately after I wrapped up my last project for the day I wrapped myself in the black scarf my mother gave me for Christmas, my UK coat and crowned myself with my beloved winter black hat. I dashed to the train and the weekend began.

When I arrived at the bar I walked straight to the bar in the back. Having not seen either of my invited guests I figured it would be the best place for me to settle in while I awaited their arrival. Then a hand appeared. I saw the face to whom it belonged and the grip was soon to follow. He is a good brother. A brother I haven’t seen in some time but always bring a smile and sense of fraternity with him. He was there with his wife and a few of his friends. One of them I knew. The other walked up to us and in his eyes I lost myself. He was the man who I’d always wanted to know.

We shared a dance in white three or four summers ago. From then on I we would pass each other like trains in the night. Three times we had crossed paths but not been able to connect. Three times I had told the story of the chocolate man to whom I wanted to surrender but before I could find my white handkerchief he was gone. Tonight we finally connected. In a safe space with no rushing, no pretense surrounding us there was time for a formal introduction. His smile is as I always remember it. His skin as chocolate as I’ve always wanted to indulge. We talked.

I slid him my calling card. Now the question is will he be calling. I certainly would answer. And what lay beneath that is that this morning someone called to share with me that he’d prayed for me. Wouldn’t it be something if God answered his prayer.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Expect the Unexpected

With each kiss of his lips I tasted the flesh of the world. It was delicious. He rubbed my back. I found myself enveloped in his legs and his torso silently gave me directions on where to go next. My bedroom was dark with the exception of the caramel scented candle that flickered on my nightstand.

When it was all over I outlined his body with my tongue and then my finger. Retracing the places I had gone. With his body resting on his back I moved closer to him and gently played his inner thigh and leg like a guitar. At last I rested my head on his chest. There we were man to man.

I have known him for years but never have we spent such time alone, just the two of us. Never had he pulled me so close. Never until tonight had he kissed me. I don’t know that I ever thought he would. But it is those things in life that we don’t expect that we should.